The Frankie and Benny's test

Well, I've got to say considering they have quite a pick of exciting and breathtaking sports to showcase on the BBC from the Winter Olympics, it's rather surprising that all they seem to be showing is the thrilling game of curling.

I mean they've got a lot of great spectator sports to choose from; bob-sled, ski-ing, snowboarding or figure skating. And yet, no, those sports are just dull. Instead 90% of airtime is going to a team of people throwing an oversized kettle down an ice rink and scrubbing with brooms in a chilly imitation of lawn bowls crossed with cleaning? Even the commentators don't seem interested in it. The Scottish woman commentating at the moment sounds like someone's drugged her tea and the most exciting thing that's happened all afternoon is the Danish team's war cries during frantic broom scrubbing. Well, at least they're enjoying it.

And no, I can't change the channel, I've become strangely gripped by it. Maybe that's what happened to the BBC editors.

For those of you who are waiting with baited breath to hear how my Frankie and Benny's interview went, it was a strange affair. I was sat down in the restaurant with a man named Stuart who immediately said: “Right I haven't got a lot of time, so it's going to be quick fire questions.”
There followed a fairly frantic interrogation, during which at one point I swear that Stuart winked at me. He could have had a lazy eye though.

Then followed the Frankie and Benny's interview test:
“Right, here's our menu, I'm going to go away for two minutes and then come back and ask you some questions about it.”
“Umm ok....”

Well, what followed was one of the most stressful two minutes of my life as I frantically tried to memorise about 100 dishes on an 8 page menu.

Stuart returned and sat down, looking rather smug. “Don't worry, we don't actually expect you to memorise it, you can keep it in front of you while I ask some questions.”

Umm, right so this was actually a test that I can read? Well thanks, I nearly passed out with the pressure.

Still, when asked about the Caribbean pizza I did manage to say it had chicken on it, even though it was down on the menu as the vegetarian option. So failed the reading test then, no wonder they haven't called...