Having decided a life sitting in a traffic jam on the A3 is no life at all, I quit my job in Ewell and have once again joined the realms of the journalistic unemployed. I am now tittering on the brink of working as a radio freelancer, and I can tell you, the prospect of it is playing havoc with my sleep.
If you've ever had a dream where you're back in school taking a GCSE exam, you haven't revised (in fact you've even lost the ability to read the exam paper) and you look down and for some inexplicable reason you're naked, you might understand where I'm coming from here.
Going 'on-air' and trying to read the news while thinking *oh-my-god-someone-might-actually-be-listening-what-if-I-accidentally-say-willy-or-lose-the-ability-to-talk* is a pretty vulnerable feeling, as you can imagine. It's bad enough in real life, but unfortunately my subconscious can make it an awful lot worse.
Suddenly, I'm not only trying to read the news, with a multitude of unpronounceable football players' names, I've also realised I haven't got a microphone, I've lost the ability to speak English and looking down, predictably, I'm naked. Worst of all, for some bizarre reason a selection of my old secondary school teachers are pointing and laughing at me from the other studio...
I know what you're thinking; wow – what a psycho. But hopefully with a whole week's worth of shifts next week, it'll all be old hat by next Friday and I can find something else to have bizarre dreams about.
Possibly an even scarier prospect related to freelance broadcast journalism is that I now have to do my own taxes. Asking around, I've received a dizzying array of advice about this including that I might even be able to claim haircuts back from the tax man... hmmmm.... Anyone know a friendly accountant?? The last thing I want is stressed out tax return dreams. I dread to think what they'd be like...
So the big news this week, of course, was the election being called on Tuesday. I started to wonder if there was a major swing seat I'd never heard of because all the newsreaders kept saying; 'So now Gordon Brown has finally called the election, campaigning can now begin in Ernest.'
Ernest? Is that in Cornwall?
Thursday, 8 April 2010
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